PROMOTION: August 2007 Archives

Madison just told me to check into rehab.

No, I don’t have a drug or alcohol problem. She just thinks it would make good publicity. Remember the days when there was a measure of ‘shame’ attached to that kind of crap? Nowadays, Betty Ford is something you put on your resume’.

Anyway. ‘Publicity’ is the days buzzword.

Plan ‘A’. Hire a publicist.

Don’t have any money.

Plan ‘B’. Find out what feature film our short is ‘attached to’ in Montreal, get in touch with their publicist and see if she drinks beer.

If that doesn’t work. Figure I’ll just have to flash my johnson getting out of a limosine.

Brianne McQuair is our Vancouver publicist. She was also the films props person and set decorator. And when she’s not busting her ass on the show, she’s warming the other side of my bed. She’s a great girl and every now and then I cook her breakfast.

But here we are. Montreal. 5 out of 15. That’s 5 Canadian films out of 15 films chosen to compete from around the globe. The World ‘Competition’. Out of 3,500 submissions to Montreal only a couple hundred films were chosen to be screened. Out of that couple hundred, 15 were chosen to compete. Not bad. Especially when you consider the fact that we sent them our rough cut. No sound mix. Temp tracks. Rough.

Bragging? Damn right. And why the hell not. You know how many people have busted their ass’s on this thing? About a hundred. And they all deserve the bragging rights.

And we’ve got the Palm Springs short fest opening the same weekend. Two World Premieres, at the same time!

So, we’re looking for an angle. God knows merit ain’t worth a damn anymore. Gay filmmaker? Nope. Indigenous? Not unless ‘Nanuck’ paddled a canoe to Ireland and snuck into the Cunningham yurt. Black? After a day of listening to Stevie Wonder, baby there ain’t nothin’ blacker. But, no. Child abuse? I’m Irish, I could sue the whole island.

Rehab. That’s gotta be it. We’re all human, right?

So I told a buddy of mine that I was going to issue a press release saying that I’m going into rehab. My problem? The ever popular, “addiction to prescription medication.”

He said nobody would buy it. I asked him why, he said “Laxatives don’t count.”