Recently in TRAVELOGUE Category

It’s been well over a year since Madison Graie suggested we create CENTIGRADE. Fifteen years since I first wrote it. And last night was one of those weird but wonderful ‘full circle’ moments in a lifetime of people, places and films.

The Directors Guild of Canada screened the (2007) Kick Start films at the Ridge theatre last night. And it was exactly one year ago that Madison and I sat in the very same theatre and watched those who had won the previous year.

Five films in all. And some of them were damn good. I was proud to be there. And Madison and I shared more than one unspoken wink. We made it. We actually did it. We lived to tell the tale.

We were proud.

Taking a ‘thought’ and manifesting a tangible, three dimensional reality from it is a pretty nifty trick. You are literally changing the world, albeit in a small way, but you are. You are not simply drifting through a life without consequence. Existing in the wake of others. Instead, you are simultaneously piloting and building a ship that is going to carry you to places that don’t even exist yet. There are few markers along the way and with little more than faith keeping you afloat it can get very scary. It’s a long, surreal and often lonely journey that will profoundly change how you see the world.

People are beginning to come up to Madison and I to shake our hands. Respected people. People we’ve never met before (but know by reputation). Actors, Producers, Cinematographers. Some of the best in the business. They see something different in what we’ve done and I think they find it refreshing. Word is beginning to spread. The film has qualified for an Academy Award and in an ocean of cinematic indifference, that’s a hard thing to ignore.

And so, we stood a little taller last night. A year ago we were sitting in the front row of the Ridge Theatre asking questions. Last night we were answering them. A difference of ten feet, one year and a gallon of blood.

But we did it.

We made it to the other side.

We earned our fifteen minutes. (Or, should I say 17 minutes, 11 seconds.)

So, I think we’re going to enjoy a bit of fruit. Have a little fun. God knows it won’t last forever. Soon we’ll be setting up shop again, ready to tackle the next big storm. Today the harbor’s calm and welcoming, but I can feel a little wind kicking up. Might be time to pull out the old pilots cap and carpenters hammer again.

A little scary, but that’s life. If you’re going to set out for new lands, sometimes you have to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.

Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Nice.

The festival is still another couple of weeks away, but I flew in early in hopes of finding a place to call home. Only going to be here for a few days, and I ‘am’ going nuts in terms of trying to find a proper hovel, but I’m reaffirmed everytime I meet a potential landlord or agent. It may sound a little nutty to anyone from Vancouver, but out of the 10 property managers I’ve met, 6 of them have met me with a hug. Perfect strangers. Perfectly normal.

I think I’m going to like it here.

Dropped into the festival box office yesterday to say hello. Cool people. Helpful. Warm. Met ‘Sarah’ the festival coodinator and she was great. ‘Carol’ selling tickets. And ‘Tom’ going crazy to get things done. I’m terrible with names, funny I remember them here.

Sun is shining. Blue skies.

Heading for LA tomorrow to spend some time with my family.

Talk soon. C.

Daniel Brodsky and Colin Cunningham in Centigrade, © Turn Up the Heat Productions, 2007

Met a kid today. Hanging outside of an ‘old school’ convenient mart and chompin’ a fist wad of Hubba Bubba, he asked me the time.

“4 o’clock.”

He looked over his left shoulder.

“Hmmm. Doesn’t feel like 4 o’clock.”

Little squid couldn’t have been more than 9 or 10.

“Ya? What’s 4 o’clock feel like?”

“Not this.” He said.

His hands were filthy. Kid filthy. Something had melted on them earlier in the day before being wiped over some grass. After that, maybe a dog. A hole. Then he replaced an axle from a 52’ Buick.

“You waitin’ on someone?”

“What?”

“Someone coming to get you?”

I’ve never seen so much gum in one head.

“You an actor?”

“Ya.”

“Ya. I’ve seen you. Stargate right?”

“Ya.”

“I like that show.”

“Thanks man.”

I went into the store, grabbed a diet Redbull and a packet of Dentyne. There were some apples near the cash register and I thought perhaps I could take a little better care of myself.

Collecting my keys, I made my way back outside.

“It’s not real though,” he said. Straight as an arrow. Mouth still.

Not real? He’s obviously never been to the SGC when it’s at defcon 4.

“As real as you want it to be brother,” I replied. As real as you want it to be.

I think he liked that.

Broke my tooth.

Dentist said, if I didn’t stop ‘grinding’ my teeth at night, they’d look like Tic Tacs before I hit 41. Well… looks like I’m losing the bet. I’ve just been so stressed, for so long, that I ended up crunching a back molar so hard that it just snapped in half.

Not good.

So, now I have to go back to the dentist and tell him, “Yes sir, the night guard you recommended (exactly six months ago) will be most appreciated. Thank you. But before you fit me for that, why don’t we grind that puppy down to nothin’, then stick a cap on it.”

Cost, $1,500 bucks. Thank GOD my insurance is going to cover it. (I wonder if I can get Centigrade insurance?)

But it’s a little weird, because it happened over night (unlike my career). Which means that when I woke up, it wasn’t there. Which means, I must have swallowed it. Which means, at some point in time tomorrow or the next day I’m going to poop out my own tooth. (Boy, that bowel movement had a bit of a ‘bite’ to it.)

But ain’t that the rub, one minute you’re 1 of 15 films competing out of 3,000. The next, you’ve got a tooth in your turd.

Welcome to my life.

I’m going to be honest here. I make a pretty good living. (Well, for a single guy, no kids, no mortgage, etc.) Problem is, I’m not happy with it. Well, that’s ridiculous of course. I LOVE my life. What I mean, is that it’s almost impossible for me to sit around and stare at a new car or palm tree or condo. I NEED to be doing something that means something.

Now, I’ve got no problem with condos. What I ‘do’ have a problem with, is the fact that anyone can simply go out and ‘buy’ one. And not to take anything away from money earned and invested, it’s a MUST. But… I’d personally get more out of the equation if I could ‘design’ the condo. Have a personal stake in it. Lay something on the line. To see, whether or not my design will hold any merit. Stand the test of time. I don’t know. Something other than simply writing a check.

Call it rebellious. Irresponsible. Jejune. But the one thing you cannot call me is ‘insecure’. There is a voice in me that I suppose will always be there. It is neither a voice of reason, logic or practicality. It simply says that the fruits of ones labor are sure to ferment, therefore… don’t get caught up in the wine. Instead, obsess over the path. The people. The places. And yes, the work.

For unlike the horseshit you’ve been spoon fed your entire life, you ARE what you do. Okay, I’ve said it. I’ve lost half my audience. But it’s true. If you are not what you DO, then what the hell are you? How else are you defined? By what you say?! What you think?! What you wear? Feel?

Bullshit.

My friends, you have roughly 70 to 80 years on this earth and I can sure as shit promise you that NOBODY is going to remember you for what you thought. (Not unless you write it down.) It will be what you DID with your life that will have mattered. How many did you touch? What did you leave behind? Was your life true to who you were? Or did you simply live the lie others found worthy? Did you delude yourself into believing you could hide under a carpet of sacrifice?

Yes? No?

Either way. And at whatever point. Shut up and do the thing you were meant to do. And if that be a parent, be the best. If it be plumber, invent something no one’s ever seen before. And if you happen to be a clerk behind a counter, know that you will perhaps touch more people than I could ever imagine through the medium of short films and second hand television.

Own your life. Own your decisions.

The flak you take will be tough. The successes, bitter sweet. You’ll wonder if it was worth it. Those that love you will tell you it was. People will hate you, others will say you’re a genius. And odds are they’re both full of it.

But at the end of the road, neither matter. It was never about them, but what they inspired in you. And what you, inspire in others. It sure as hell ain’t about about getting a ‘better table’ in some restaurant.

It’s about taking those fingers you so readily point at the world and making the decision to bend them into a fist, that you begin to live. And yes, people will hate you. And people will praise you.

But who asked them? Not me.

Therefore, I will live my life full steam. And perhaps wish the forgiveness of those that may have been burned along the way. But I too have been burned. And I will aspire to hold no grudge in kind. (Well, maybe a few.)

‘Success is relative.’ Though be most careful of those who describe it as such. They are the losers. The non participants. The bitter. Sheep hide best behind critique (and college educations).

Then again, maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps they are the sages of our time. Therefore, and that said.

Go poop a tooth.

C.

Palm Springs. Hot. Sunny. Gorgeous. California never ceases to amaze me.

Arrived at the airport, grabbed our bags and raced to the hotel. We had about a 50 minute window to dump our stuff and get to the theater. It was fantastic to see my family again. They’d been out here for two days already. Putting up posters, postcards, handing out key chains and the like. My brother in law, Avi surprised everyone by flying in from Vegas. My sister was wearing a big red cowboy hat with her CENTIGRADE ‘filmmakers’ badge and looked the perfect publicist/producer. My Dad had already done some interviews and Scotland, my 5 year old niece, had little ‘Centigrade’ postcards pinned all over her dress. And it was so, very, exciting. Nobody’s family is better. Nobody’s.

I quickly got a tour from my Mom of the media center and was introduced to a few filmmakers she’d been chatting up over the last few days. I then took a quick peek of the filmmakers lounge. The place was buzzing.

We made it to the theater with about 20 minutes to spare and waiting for me were some of the best friends a man can have. Rob and Brandon Stilson. Mark and Claudia Rickerby. And one of my greatest and coolest friends in the world, Scooby Sorkin.

The theater was 1/10 the size of the theater in Montreal. Perhaps a hundred or so people (I gave my seat up to a guy who didn’t have one. I just sat on the floor at the back).

But be it large or small we were ‘Sold Out’.

The program consisted of 8 films. We were 8th. And once the first film began I felt nervous. Some of them were damn good. And so, I decided then to feel complimented to even be in such company. There are some seriously good filmmakers out there.

Granted, there were one or two that made me wonder who was smoking crack when they were first accepted, but then again, what the hell do I know? As for our turn at bat, well… the sound was a bit of a mess, but nobody noticed but me. It crackled and clicked throughout. Strange. The theaters sound system certainly wasn’t cutting edge, but it played well played enough in spite of it all.

Palm Springs votes by ‘ballot’. Basically, the audience fills out a ballot that’s handed out to them as they walk in to the theater and they check off which film they thought was best etc. And I had to laugh as being the director, I was walking in and out of the theater constantly checking on things, and had to remind the older guy at the door every time, NOT to give me another ballot. I felt like an illegal alien voting Democrat.

Anyway. It was a little unfortunate that a few people left before we even got to CENTIGRADE. I think they felt the ‘Twilight Zone’ program (to which we were a part) may have gone a little long. And so, a some of them began to split. And I was dying because I wanted them to VOTE for my film!! Hell, at least vote for somebody. But finally enough did in fact stay, the whole thing wrapped up and we all headed out for a drink.

I had trouble getting a connection on my cell phone, so I couldn’t call Madison immediately. It was too bad she couldn’t make it to Palm Springs. But the money has just gotten so stupid. Time to reel it back in. She eventually called ‘me’ to say that our 3rd and final screening in Montreal was perhaps the best of the bunch.

She said there were tons of people asking her a thousand questions and that the same day there was a journalist who had mentioned CENTIGRADE as the best film in it’s category. The category of course, WORLD COMPETITION. Cross your fingers.

Anyway. So after the screening we all went out for a bite to eat and had a great laugh. Afterwards we all went to the Hilton and sat by the pool and had another great laugh. This morning I woke up, packed my bags for Vancouver and started cry. Okay. Maybe I didn’t. But it’s just been so much damn fun following this thing around. What a blessing.

And so… Now I sit upon yet another airplane and it’s hot as hell. It’s got to a thousand degrees in here. What the hell is it with these airplanes?!

I don’t believe this. The woman across from me is freezing to death. It’s like krakatoa in here and this gal is bundled up with more cotton than Osama’s granny. She’s got her blanket, my blanket, double socks and a hood. She looks like an Afghani Drivers License.

A fitting end to a fine beginning.

Look out world. Here we come.

C.